His Lines
by hmfan24
Summary: Never ever mix Naruto,Sasuke,Hinata,and a PickUp line book. Anything can happen. Poor Hinata. Poor Sasuke. When will Naruto stop being himself. Sasuke and Naruto as a team,does not go over well. Try again Sasuke, it'll take more than some lines win heart.
1. Chapter 1

Hmfan24- Told you I would give all you lovely reviewers a present. Well, this took some research and I hope you enjoy it! I'll post it later on this week. This takes place… uh I don't know where. I guess after the next chapter.

Oh yeah, warning, some of the pick-up lines can get a little… well… you'll see.

Pick Up Lines

Sasuke and Naruto were studying their books from Kakashi. One that seemed to spark interest was 'Pick-Up Lines, and How to Use Them'

"Oi, Sasuke, this is the best book EVER. Look it even tells you the pick-up lines to use if you plan on knocking the girl up." Naruto started flipping through the book.

"…" Sasuke didn't show it, but he was intensely interested in the book. He peeked over Naruto's shoulder to see what he was reading exactly.

The page seemed to be on, 'I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.' My Lord, this book was sick. Sick enough for Sasuke, though. He snatched the book from Naruto's hands.

"Oh my gosh, Sasuke, I have an idea!" Naruto jumped up and down.

"What?" Sasuke looked up from the perverse book.

"Ok, first, we visit Hinata. Then, we pick her up with pick-up lines!" Naruto stood like his plan was genius.

Sasuke scoffed, "Dobe, who said _we_?"

Naruto continued, "In or out?" he held out a hand.

Sasuke just accepted his plan and shook Naruto's hand.

The two boys conducted a checklist…

_Flowers_

_Dressy Clothes_

_Cologne_

_Book_

_Headset of Walkie-Talkies _

_Book_

_Pick-Up props_

_Book_

_Did I mention book?_

It was all set. Naruto had the book, Sasuke had the book, and the Moon had the beautiful glow. Perfect night to for Sasuke's pick-up.

No doubt, the young man was nervous. As he stood at his 'tsuma's' front door, he couldn't help but sweat and blush.

His blush could be seen all over his face.

His comrade, Naruto, gave him some words of encouragement, "Lighten up, Sasuke, this'll all be over in a few –…"

"Shut the fuck up! I'm all right. Let's just get this over with so I can get back to training." His outburst startled the young Hyuuga heiress inside as she rushed out side only to have flowers in her face.

She looked up at the young man before her and scoffed, "Sigh, why are you here, Sasuke? Don't make me call the ANBU on you again."

"She answered the door? Ok, say, 'Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?" Naruto whispered on the other line.

"F-Fuck me if I a-am w-w-wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?" Sasuke stuttered out.

Naruto was busting a gut on the other line. He was sure not to let Sasuke hear.

"My Lord, Sasuke, please leave me alone." Hinata sighed.

"Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it." Sasuke repeated and heard through the headset. His blush spread all around his body.

Hinata started to twitch. "…"

"Are you a virgin?" Sasuke asked.

By this time Naruto couldn't contain himself.

"Yes…" Hinata was blushing beyond belief. She really wanted to shut the door, yet she was amused by what Sasuke had to say.

"Prove it!"

She shut the door in his face.

"You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime." Sasuke waved.

Naruto's laugh exploded through the microphone. Sasuke twitched, "Dobe, stop laughing and HELP ME!!!"

"Okay, okay, knock on her door again. We're breaking out the cheese." Naruto snickered.

"I've already called Neji, Sasuke."

"If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away." Sasuke blushed once more.

"…" Hinata looked down and blushed.

"Is it working?" Naruto asked.

"Yes!" Sasuke whispered back. "Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?"

"…" Hinata's eyes widened in shock, 'That sure was sweet of him…'

Sasuke got a burst of confidence as he waited for the next line, "I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me."

"Can you feel it?" Sasuke stepped closer to Hinata, "There is some kinda sexual attraction. Can you feel it, too?" He got closer to her and began to stare at her lips.

She barely heard what he was saying. She was sent into a trance after him commenting on her beauty.

She shook her head and shut the door after saying, "I'm not _that _stupid, Uchiha!"

"She left… I was soooo close! One more time and I bet I could get her." Sasuke begged Naruto on the other line.

Naruto smirked and saw this as a time to strike, "Ok, how about flattery!"

Sasuke opened the door once more not at all knowing he was being watched, "I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains – …"

Neji punched poor Sasuke to the floor.

I had fun with that story! Ha, I might not post it within my His Way story. It would be hard to incorporate that.

Thank you all so much for reviewing my story!


	2. here you go

Hmfan24- … I wasn't going to update this, but I'm really bored and I need a laugh. So… here it goes!

**You should know when to stop…**

As you know, Hinata has a **stalker**. She walks along the streets of Konoha to her former home.

Neji insisted she stay at the Hyuuga compound for the night. Just in case the stalker came back.

She turned the corner and walked down the alley only to come across the rookie 9. Yes, that includes her… **stalker**.

Her head sweat profusely as she saw her **stalker**. She looked up at the path she was about to take. Right past Ichiraku's to get to the Hyuuga mansion.

Quietly she snuck past the bar, not making a sound.

Lucky for her, her former teammate happened to have very good hearing, "Hey, Hinata-chan!"

She squeaked she froze in her tracks.

"Hey, Hinata-chan!" yelled Ino and Sakura. "Come and sit with us."

She was hungry; maybe just a bite then she would have to leave. She sat down on the far opposite side of where her **stalker** was sitting and ordered a light lunch.

Shino, Shikamaru, and Chouji gave her a nod.

Naruto snickered as he nudged Sasuke in the arm, "Hey, Sasuke, your tsuma is here. Bet she's looking for you after last night."

Everyone nearly choked or spit out their food, "WHAT???"

Hinata looked right into the eyes of her **stalker. **She was trying to run away when she was caught by Shikamaru's oh-so famous shadow-stitcher jutsu.

"Wait, Hinata, just tell us what's up!" Ino yelled.

Naruto was laughing his ass off until he received a blow to the head by Sakura, "Shut up so we can listen."

"Well, Sasuke wants to raise a family with Hinata. I'm helping!" Naruto declared. "Last night, we went to Hinata's house and delivered her some pick-up lines. He was _this _close to getting her in bed."

Hinata twitched remembering the night before.

Sasuke blushed, scratching his neck, "Konichiwa, Hinata-tsuma…"

Hinata nearly screamed as she watched her **stalker **nudge Naruto for a dark orange book. Anime tears streamed down her face, "NO!!! I don't want to be around **him**!"

Naruto whispered something in Sasuke's ears making him blush, "…"

Everyone else just sat there with their mouths wide open. They didn't have a clue what he was going to say next. And why the hell was _the _Uchiha Sasuke, blushing like crazy?

There was some arguing and punching and laughing until finally…

"W-w-wanna f-f-fuck like bunnies?" Sasuke asked looking at her back. She refused to face him.

The whole gang nearly fainted, twitching from Sasuke's comment. Hinata and Sasuke could've died from embarrassment, Naruto, from laughter.

"What the fuck is happening?" Kiba yelled putting his hands on his head acting as if the world were going to end.

Naruto flipped through the book for another, "If you won't fuck me, can I fuck you?" Sasuke repeated exactly what he heard.

Hinata wanted to die. Shikamaru was too shocked to let go, "…"

"Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us." Sasuke said. The only emotion on his face was a blush. As a ninja, he had to stay stoic. Especially when completing the toughest of all.

Hinata screamed. It was all too much.

'Who knew Sasuke was this perverted?' Shino thought, shoving his hands into his pocket. What else can someone silent do?

(I feel soooo bad for Hinata)

Naruto gave Sasuke yet another pick-up line, "That's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?"

By the grace of the angels Hinata's little sister happened to be passing by, "Hey, Sis. Hey, Naruto. Hey, **stalker. **Hey, rookie 9."

She must have been completely oblivious to the fact that her sister was being harassed.

…

A little bit later…

The entire rookie 9 minus Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata were frozen in shock.

Hyuuga mansion…

"Where could Hinata be?" Neji looked up at the clock that read 3:00. She was supposed to be there 4 hours ago.

"Oh yeah, she's with her Uchiha **stalker **and his friends. His pole was sticking out over big time. I would be surprised he hasn't raped her yet. When I left he was shouting, 'Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd fuck you all night, would you fuck me too?' Funny boy that Uchiha **stalker **is, ah…" Hanabi began to laugh as she drank the rest of her tea.

Neji's skin had to be boiling by now.

"Remember what your psychiatrist said, 'Breath in, and breath out, then scream into a pillow." Hanabi got out the notes from Neji's last visit to Tenten's office.

It was too late; Neji had already activated his Byakugan and was headed out the door.

Hanabi sighed, the notes were fake; Neji and Tenten weren't in their psychiatry session. They must have been in their… **other type of session that will not be discussed**.

"…and he says the Uchiha **stalker** is perverted. Ooooh, good blackmail." She flipped through the 'notes' that were taken of the **session. **

Owari!!!

Well, I really had fun writing this. So much fun!

Hey, fun fact! My cousin took me to the mall. We shopped with my aunt for a while until he took me into Spencer's. I nearly fainted at the content of that store.

Hinata- You are sick and evil!!!

Hmfan24- Hey, it's not all my fault. My cousin just about raised me.

Hinata – Still, why do you write this stuff? I-I-I thought I was your favorite character.

Hmfan24- I'm sorry, Hinata, say, maybe I'll write a NaruHina just for you.

Hinata – No you won't.

Hmfan24- I know, but I am going to write a HinaNaruSaku. Sure, you'll get your heart broken once through a bad marriage, but in the end you'll end up with Sasuke.

Hinata – You know I don't like that stalker.

Hmfan24- It'll be a different story, so you will. That's right, 'Wait for Love' is coming to a fandom near you. It's me trying on angst that makes me _and _Hinata cry.

Hinata – You also said a dedication to me and my _true love/stalker _would be posted.

Hmfan24 – Oh, yes, an essay will be posted on LJ too.

This is the last chapter. It was supposed to be just one dedication, but I feel the need to give my fans what they want, so if they want another chapter, I'll give them another chapter.

Bye reviewers, thank you very very very very very very very very very very very very much!!

Oh yeah, read my story to see what happens next! (Unless I feel really generous and inspired by my fans' support)


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